Fear is the most debilitating & devastating of all our emotions. It is also the origin of other emotions like anger, unhappiness, depression and others.
When we observe a child, we will notice that the child has no fears. Then why does an adult have so many fears?
Firstly, all the fears of the parents get automatically transmitted to the child. If any of the parents screams upon seeing a cockroach or if a dog comes close by, the child builds fear of insects and animals. If a parent is superstitious and afraid of crossing a road if a black cat has crossed it earlier, then the child too builds a fear of crossing such a road. If any one of the parents is afraid of entering a dark room, the child develops fear of the dark. If the parent is afraid of trusting any one else but him/herself then the child also distrusts everyone!
Secondly, fear is built into the child because of the concern of the loving parents for the health and safety during the childhood! Parenting is caring and the side effect of caring is fear being embedded in the growing child. Parents help build fear of running, jumping etc as they convey to the child that it may fall and get hurt, fear of dogs and other animals as they may get bitten and hurt. When the parent is sick and requests that the child does not come near him/her, the child may develop a fear of being near sick people and may develop a fear of visiting hospitals too! When rain soaked children happily come home, the Mother’s concern of the child catching a cold may drive the Mom into a frenzy to get the child as dry as possible quickly. Such a child may develop a fear of getting wet in the future! Parents frequently use fear to discipline a child to prevent it from doing something that may make it sick or hurt it!
Thirdly, the high expectations of the parents builds in fear of failure. Most parents want the child to be the best, first in everything it does. They want the child to be the best loved and respected person at home, in the school, and in all the social environments. So, the Ego of the child is always anxious to do the best and this anxiety results in under utilizing it’s own capabilities and then under achieving! For example, the child may be afraid of speaking in public for fear of not doing well, not getting the appreciation and respect of the audience! This fear will make the child under perform. So, it is a vicious cycle. To overcome this, the child and the parents have to learn to have little or no expectations, and allow the child to be him/herself and do whatever he/she can! Then we will find that children will bloom into stronger adults in their own way and in their own time!
Fourthly, most parents programme their children to fear the future by imagining the worst situation in the future. Parents feel that when they teach their children to face the worst situation, they will then be able to handle any situation! The reality is that the future is really unpredictable and the probability of the worst situation occurring is extremely low, perhaps much less than 1 %! What is strange that parents and many humans do not imagine a good situation happening in the future even though the probability is more than 99%! Why has this kind of thinking or imagining been handed over from one generation to another since the beginning of the human race? Because everyone has fear of the future! Once we become aware of this way of negative thinking of our Ego, slowly and automatically our imagination will change to a positive state from the existing negative state!
So, fear becomes an integral part of our Ego during our growing up years. Many fears get imbedded into our subconscious and so they arise without prior thought or reason! Desires and expectations of our Ego’s which have to be fulfilled in the future also cause the fears to arise!
We have fear of getting emotionally and physically hurt in the future, fear of failing, fear of loss of wealth, power, honour, respect etc..As our Ego exists when we are either in our past or our future, so also Fear exists when we are in our past or in the future. When we return back to Awareness or being in the present moment, our Ego along with imbedded fear disappears!
In order to live life fully right away, we have accept our Ego as it is now. We also have to accept and live with the fears of our Ego, unless we are in the present moment when fears vanish automatically!
Handling of fear is all we can do, This is done by becoming aware of our fears, accepting and experiencing them fully, and not denying that we have no fears!
Be also aware that fear, along with other emotions like anxiety, worry, hatred, jealousy, guilt can affect the health of our body. It can lead to diseases like diabetes, heart condition, cancer and others!
When we are in our Ego state having desires and expectations, we have fear; when we are in the present moment when there are no desires and expectations, then there is no fear -The Divinity
We are afraid that the desires we have may not be fulfilled in the time frame we have set for them! So, if we can have no desires or no time frames then we will have no fear! – The Divinity *
I’ve never understood why people are so afraid to fail. Or why they hesitate to stretch for the next rung on the ladder of life just because they may topple over. Failure is part of life. Everyone fails. I know I have. More times than I can count.- Ronnie Screwvala
When our Intellect is in pure awareness and fully accepts what the Totality presents to us every moment, then our Ego will have no fears, anxiety, worry or anger – The Totality
If you go deep into your fear you will find love. …When you are in love, fear disappears. And when you are afraid, you cannot be in love. …..Fear and love don’t exist together. That means it must be the same energy that becomes fear; then there is nothing left to become love. It becomes love, then there is nothing left to become fear. – Osho ‘Buddha his life and teachings’ *
All of us are programmed to fear death of our Ego and our Body, whereas both are naturally occurring phenomenon in The Totality – The Totality *
Our Ego is a program in our Intellect which fears the future! Even though our Intellect may have experienced and understood that the future is unpredictable and not in the control of our Ego, our Ego or programming continues to remain fearful of the future. Fear as well as our Ego disappear when we are Alive in the now. – The Totality *
The opposite of love is not hatred. It is Fear. Love is the natural state when fear is eradicated. Conversely, fear is the most common obstacle that keeps us from being aware of love’s presence within us………..fear is simply an ego-based emotion, – Carnelian Sage, in her book ‘The Greatest Manifestation Principle in the World’ *
Fear is a denial of the existence of the divine power that resides within you-the divine power of which you are a part. – Carnelian Sage, in her book ‘The Greatest Manifestation Principle in the World’
The simple truth is, when you’re frightened, you’re dumber. – Bruce H. Lipton Ph.D. * 260717
If we can control fears, we can regain control over our lives. – Bruce H. Lipton Ph.D. * 260717
Letting go of our fears is the first step towards creating a fuller, more satisfying life – Bruce H. Lipton Ph.D. * 260717
We have nothing to fear, but fear itself. – US President Franklin D. Roosevelt * 260717
Thinking is the bedrock of fear. No thinking, no fear. – The Totality * 231117
Fear is the programmed reaction of our Ego to the present moment situation or the anticipated future situation – The Totality * 220818
As long as our conditioning or programming (Ego) has expectations, we will have fear – The Totality * 011218
Our fears are the creation of our Ego, which has a wild imagination. Often it imagines problems in the future. Perhaps it is brought about by our Parents lovingly warning us to be careful or take care. In effect our Ego has the tendency to frighten itself. Most of these imaginary fearful situations rarely happen in the future. Rather than being careful, we could help our children to calmly accept every situation that arises and take the required action to overcome the difficult situations in their lives. – The Divinity 060223 *
Fear is also very limiting….Every human being has tremendous potential to achieve heights that can only be imagined and dreamed, but the fear of failure put into our pysche by people around us, holds us back!
Also, fear cannot coexist with Love….if you are fearful, you cannot love…and love is most important for our evolution…so we have to overcome our fears by “living in the Now”
Yea, fear does limit our achievements in the external world, in the world of activity and success. But, when we go into our internal world there is no fear!
Love is an emotion of our Ego! When our desires and wants get fulfilled by another person, we fall in love. Once the other person stops fulfilling our desires and wants we fall out of love! When we are in love we are at the same time afraid that we might lose the love of the other person in the future. So, love and fear can and do co-exist!
Loving our own Ego can help us in discovering our own self which can be called evolution!
Love is a word that is fairly wide in its meaning. The Greeks have a word for the highest form of love ‘agape’. So, probably at the lowest level of the meaning of love, that is romantic love or love from the ego, will certainly involve fear, and many other feelings like hate, wanting to harm etc.
With a much higher meaning of the word love, however, it can only mean good things. Here are some quotes from Osho, to clarify this:
Osho, Tao: The Golden Gate, Vol. 1, Talk #7
Download this Osho talk as an audiobook
Love and Ego Cannot Go Together
“Love and ego cannot go together. Knowledge and ego go together
perfectly well, but love and ego cannot go together, not at all. They
cannot keep company. They are like darkness and light: if light is
there darkness cannot be. Darkness can only be if light is not there.
If love is not there the ego can be; if love is there the ego cannot
be. And vice versa, if ego is dropped, love arrives from all the
directions. It simply starts pouring in you from everywhere.”
Osho, Die O Yogi Die, Talk #8
With the Ego, Love Is Impossible
“When you are in anger, in passion, violent, aggressive, you feel a
crystallized ego within you. Whenever you are in love, in compassion,
it is not there.
“That’s why we cannot love, because with the ego, love is impossible.
That’s why we go on talking so much about love, but we never are in
love. And whatsoever we call love is more or less sex, it is not love;
because you cannot lose your ego, and love cannot exist unless the ego
has disappeared. Love, meditation, godliness, they all require one
thing – the ego must not be there. That’s why Jesus is right in saying
that God is love, because both phenomena happen only when the ego is
When we are truly in the present moment, then our Ego and fear disappear! Along with these, all emotions including love disappears. What remains is only ‘Peace’! Peace connects us not only to the persons near to us but to all of mankind and the Universe. This Peace has no conditions or desires, it is truly unconditional!
Fear is the opposite of love. If you are in a state of love, there is no place for fear.
Also, as Gul said, with living in the present moment, there is no fear. By living in the future, you imagine all kind of scenarios, that may or may not play out. More than likely, not, yet we fear, worry about what could possibly happen. We don’t know really what will in fact happen in the future. Our fears are founded on speculation. So love, and put your faith in the universe which always has a perfect plan, and what ever happens in the present or future, even though it may seem that these are bad things, is in fact happening as a part of this perfect plan.